Wednesday, November 6, 2013

House Plants and the Internet

image via

I have a black thumb.

This is unfortunate, since the women in my family have green thumbs and successfully cultivate beautiful gardens, and I'm super envious of their prowess in the garden.

But one look in my backyard, specifically at my languishing tomato plants, is evidence enough that caring for plants or growing anything green is not in my wheelhouse.

So naturally, I decided that I want to be a person who has houseplants.  Yes, I, Shannon, who has committed involuntary plant-slaughter against every beautiful orchid that was given to me as a housewarming gift, am going to have a house full of plants.  I'm growing up, I think.

To my credit, I have managed not to kill the Japanese peace lily that the execs at the company I work for sent me when I had surgery early last year.  I suspect those plants are indestructible, though.  They pretty much tell you when they need water - they wilt - and then they perk up within like an hour of getting water.  Easiest plant ever.

But I digress.

I have been just absolutely pining away for a fiddle leaf fig, which is the current "it" plant in home decor.  Far be it from me to ever jump on a bandwagon, but the truth is, there is a giant fiddle leaf fig plant outside the elevator on my floor at work, and it makes me smile every day.  It's exotic, but softly shaped; odd, but beautiful.

The little plant shown above apparently grows up into this big fella eventually (this is the one at work).

The problem is, you just can't find one anywhere in this vortex of plebeianism I live in (i.e. Solano County).  Since I'm not about to drive all over tarnation (or the Bay Area) to find a fiddle leaf fig, or steal the 6-footer at my office building, I turned to the internet.  God bless the folks at Google; they directed me to Hirt's online nursery (an Amazon affiliate) that ships plants to your door.

Are you kidding me right now?  You can order plants online, and they come to your house. It was so magical, I felt like I was at Hogwart's at Christmas.

image via (caption is mine)
So anyway, I ordered two fiddle leaf fig plants.  But since I don't know when to say "enough," I also ordered a banana plant, a spider plant, something called "baby tears," a jade plant, and a Victorian parlor palm.

images via
Do I know where I'm going to put them all?  Heck no.  But I have some ideas.

Fiddle leaf fig on each of the coral tables flanking the TV console...?
Spider plant in the dining room...?
Baby tears in an urn outside the front door...?
Jade plant on the nightstand...?
Victorian parlor palm next to the piano...?

We shall see, when the plants arrive, what rooms they shall be placed in.  I'll let you know!  Hirt's has already shipped my order (within like two hours!), so let's hope it arrives soon, so I don't have to pine for the fiddle leaf fig for too much longer.


  1. Don't worry about your languishing tomato plant. They die back in the winter. Ours is doing the same right now. =)

    1. If only it was languishing because of the seasons's really because I didn't go into my back yard for a full month because of recital/work/recital recovery. Shame on me!

  2. i'm mildly disturbed/amused by the plant name "baby tears" :)


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